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November 5, 2018 Self Care / What Really Matters

Return-Trip Talk

For the longest time, the return trip from vacation has involved more than my body traveling from here to there.

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If you don’t follow @beauty_redefined yet, GO. DO. IT. NOW. This nonprofit/these women are such a guiding light when it comes to body positivity and navigating our tricky world. Swipe for multiple tips from @beauty_redefined on helping girls have a healthy body image. #regram #intuitiveeating #bodypositive #bodyimage #bodylove

I wrote the post below shortly after I started the blog in 2016. My admiration of Ellen continues to this day & I'm so lucky to get to see her show on Wednesday! ****** . During maternity leave in 2014, Ellen was my best friend (I mean besides my new baby and husband, of course!). ‪4 p.m.‬ was always a glorious hour when I knew my sleep exhaustion would be replaced by laughter & a lot of smiling thanks to Ellen. When maternity leave ended, so did my afternoon date w/ Ellen. . Fortunately, Ellen has come back into my life. I’m working fewer hours to be able to spend more time with Hadley, meet people in SF & just manage life. This has allowed me to watch her show while folding laundry or doing other chores. . Last month, she interviewed singer ‪Demi Lovato‬. Demi recently posed in Vanity Fair magazine w/ minimal clothing (i.e., none), no makeup and no Photoshop. When Demi explained she had a history of eating & body image issues and now wanted to be a positive example for girls, Ellen asked her when she started to become comfortable with her body. Demi said when the Kardashians (and their bodies) rose to fame, that was the first time she associated curves with beauty. She realized she should be proud of her curves. Today, she added, there are more women out there rocking their curves & this gave her confidence to do the magazine photo shoot. . Kudos to ‪Demi‬, but what I LOVE is Ellen’s response: “The most important thing, the message we should be sending to young boys and girls is be healthy. It doesn’t really matter what your weight is. Just be healthy.” . I wish I could frame this and hang it everywhere – as a reminder to myself and to the world. She is so right. And as I was thinking about her statement after the show, I realized Ellen exemplifies the true meaning of beauty. People don’t love her because she looks like a Victoria’s Secret model. They love her because she is authentic, fun, funny, gracious, generous and kind. She uses her show as a platform to inspire happiness & kindness. She even ends every show by saying, “Be kind to one another.” Now that is beautiful. I want to be ‪Ellen DeGeneres‬ beautiful. . #ellendegeneres #bodypositive #bodylove

How are you doing? . . “Fine!” “Good, how are you?” “Busy.” . . Any of those answers sound familiar? How are you REALLY doing? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I just got home from a moms group via my church and was thinking how thankful I am to have a group where each person is asked how they are doing and a more-than-one-word answer is encouraged. It’s a space to be authentic, vulnerable and supported week after week. I’m grateful to have that space. . . Do you have an outlet like that? You deserve one. It doesn’t have to be a church group. It could be a therapist, a friend, even a co-worker. I have a special relationship with a former co-worker because she was the best at genuinely asking me how I was doing. If you don’t have an outlet, seek one. Again, you deserve it. . . Maybe you have an outlet but have been afraid to answer with the truth. It’s scary to admit struggle, sadness, fear, etc. But I’ve been learning that the facade of perfection is boring, stifling and life-sucking. Vulnerability is interesting, freeing and life-giving. . . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So, here are a few things we can all do today: . . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 1️⃣ Journal: If you’re not ready or don’t feel like you have an outlet to share how you’re doing, start with a journal. (Journaling is good even if you have an outlet!) Unload your feelings to free your mind space and connect with your heart. . 2️⃣ Seek an outlet: Find a person, group or therapist who asks you how you are doing on a regular basis. Sometimes we need someone to ask the question of us before we can even ask the question of ourselves. . 3️⃣ Ask others: Ask people how they are doing, but don’t stop there. This is especially true in the beginning. Most people will stop after one word. Ask them another question to let them expand upon the first answer and to also show you really want to know how they are REALLY doing. . So, all of this being said: How are you doing? 😉 . . . #belovedbody #innerwork #authenticity #wellness #bodylove @jenaclark @britt.kirby @emilywatkins17

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